When Good Intentions Miss the Mark: Rethinking Disability and Inspiration
July 26, 2025
Imagine this scenario: You're out to dinner with your partner or spouse, celebrating an anniversary, and you're in the middle of enjoying your meals when someone approaches your table and tells you how much of an inspiration you are. Or consider this scenario: You're at the grocery store with your family getting your grocery shopping done for the week, when someone approaches you and asks to pray with you.
An important consideration in both of these scenarios is that the person who has approached you has never met you before, and you have never met them. This raises questions about the nature of such interactions. Merriam-Webster defines inspiration as an inspiring agent or influence, as well as the process of being mentally motivated to do or feel something. If you're simply having dinner with your partner in a restaurant, it becomes unclear how that differs meaningfully from the experience of the person who approached you, who also had dinner at the restaurant.
These scenarios represent just some of the real-life interactions that I have personally experienced. Many people with disabilities, usually those with visible disabilities, often find themselves the recipients of these well-intentioned but complex encounters. When I am approached by people I don't know who tell me how inspiring I am, I experience a range of emotions, including anxiety, uncertainty, embarrassment, and a sense of being diminished or pitied.
As an empathetic person, I am intentional about trying to understand different perspectives from people. I recognize that people act based on their own learned experiences and the stereotypes and assumptions that are passed on generationally, and continue to circulate in our society. However, accepting these stereotypes and assumptions as unchangeable is problematic. In an era where technology provides unprecedented access to information, most people have the means to learn about topics they may not initially understand (you’re likely holding one of those tools in your hand as you’re reading this).
Here are some relevant facts: The World Health Organization estimates that 1.3 billion people (16% of the world's population) have a disability (Source: WHO Disability Fact Sheet). In the United States, the CDC estimates that 1 in 4 Americans (over 70 million people) reported having a disability (Source: CDC Data Shows Over 70 Million U.S. Adults Reported Having a Disability). People with disabilities represent one of the largest minority groups, and anyone can (and statistically likely will) become a member of this group at some point in their life. Despite this reality, stereotypes and misconceptions continue to shape harmful narratives about people with disabilities. According to the Urban Institute, 4 in 10 adults with disabilities report experiencing unfair treatment in settings ranging from healthcare and work environments to everyday interactions.
Fundamentally, people with disabilities are people. This includes the full spectrum of human personality. Some people with disabilities may be difficult or unpleasant (believe me, I have my moments), contrary to the common stereotype that portrays people with disabilities as uniformly innocent and childlike. People with disabilities have relationships, careers (or career aspirations), pay taxes, dine out, shop for groceries, pursue hobbies, and live full lives. Like everyone else, we have been given an amazing opportunity to exist on this Earth for an unknown amount of time. This basic human experience is not inherently inspirational, extraordinary, or exceptional.
I want to clarify that I'm not entirely opposed to the concept of being an inspiration; context matters significantly. If a friend told me that I inspired them to start a new health journey by swimming laps at their local pool, that would be meaningful. The difference is that this friend knows me, has a personal relationship with me, and is aware that I swim regularly. If that inspires them to make a positive change for themselves, then I would be genuinely honored by that compliment.
I encourage you to be intentional about reframing how you think about people with disabilities. For example, if you encounter content on social media showing someone with a mobility disability attending prom with the star football player, or someone with a cognitive disability taking coffee orders at your local cafe, consider avoiding the impulse to frame these as "inspirational". Instead, recognize this type of content and interactions just as they are; an attempt to exploit people with disabilities as a source of pity and being lesser-than for the primary purpose of receiving likes and comments. By questioning these narratives, whether encountering them in real life or on social media, and understanding the underlying assumptions they represent, you can become a more effective ally to people with disabilities and help address ableism in everyday interactions.